Me on the right, Reeoh on the left. Chilling in Orgrimar and sitting arm in arm.

You take a 15 year marriage that still has lots of love and companionship, but because of illness has no physical intamacy.

You take a MMPORPG (Massively Multiple Player Online Roll Playing Game) Where you have the opportunity to meet and get to know tons of interesting people from all over the world.

You take the combination of the fact that you can talk to a certain person “over the computer” using a TeamSpeak server, AND the fact that you have a voice fettish, AND the fact that he has a smokin’  hot voice that has juuuust the right balance of soft and sexy.

You take the fact that you like him more each time you talk to him, and he seems to like you also.

You take the fact that you are COMPLETELY addicted to the feelings and emotions that are stirring around. Those endorphins our brains release when we are in those early stages of a crush… or love. 

Like a crack whore, I can’t get enough and will do ALMOST anything to get more. 

Put it all in a plastic baggie and shake it all up and what do you get?

…And so, apparently, has Paris Hilton. The LA County Sherriff’s Department issued this statement today, saying they have decided to release Paris with an electronic monitoring device and she will spend the full remainder of her initial 45 day sentance in the custody of her own home.

The decision was made after “extensive consultation with Los angeles County medical personnel, including doctors at the Century Regional Detention Facility.”

Wow.

My initial reaction was, SOMEONE got paid off. If you believe that being rich in this (or any) society does not afford a person immunity from real punishment, regardless of the crime, you are sadly naiive. Most certainly Paris called daddy on her cellphone that she wasn’t supposed to have, from her isolated cell.

“Daddy these blankets are scratchy. They’re SO not HOT.” 

The doctors at the detention facility would only say the decision was made for medical reasons. This would lead one to conclude that Paris has some sort of malady that prevents her from serving her sentence in her humble cell. But I think they are actually protecting the others.

LA County couldn’t possibly pay for all the medication they would have needed had they allowed Paris to remain in custody.

Imagine all the penicillin it would take to treat the entire population of the Century Regioanl Detention Facility for The Clap.

Edit: All joking aside this situation is incredibly fucked up. I just got this from TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological and that she was in peril of having a nervous breakdown, and that’s why she was released early this morning.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????

I don’t even know why I am surprised. What it comes right down to, people, is Paris was released from jail because she didn’t want to be there. I hope they riot. I hope that entire facility burns to the ground. 

Praise be, Hell’s Kitchen is BACK! Gordon Ramsey is HAWWWWWT, and I love him. Although its even more obvious this season that they are setting up scenarios to make them especially explosive. Its all getting a bit contrived, but I will watch anyway. Also, I am officicially announcing the Hell’s Kitchen Drinking Game. Every time that big-puppy-dog-Asian-dude cries, you take a shot. But be sure you tivo, because by the end of the episode you will be too blotto to remember who got eliminated.

And now… a glimpse into MY hell.

Me: Thank you for calling My Company, may I have your account number please?

Him: I just want you to tell me who my agent is.

Me: Absolutely. May I have your acount number please?

Him: What are you DEAF? I SAID I only want you to tell me who my agent is.

Me: Ok, well, I am happy to give you that information, but I need to know who you are…

Him: My name is ________.

So I looked up his account by name.

Me: Mr. _______ will you verify your date of birth please?

Him: HOLY FUCKING HELL YOU MUST BE A RETARD!! WHY DO YOU NEED MY FUCKING DATE OF BIRTH TO GIVE ME MY AGNTS NAME??? LEMME SPEAK TO A SUPERVISOR!!!

Me: I am a supervisor sir.

Him: Oh really? Well good. Maybe YOU can explain to me why you need my date of birth to give me my agnts name. This should be stunning.

Me: Well, we ask these questions to verify your identity, so we don’t give account specific information to someone other than yourself. Information about your agent is not necessarily account specific, but I like to get the identification process out of the way, because general questions often lead to account specific questions.

Him: GOD you people are idiots. What do you mean account specific information?

Me: Well for example, your account value. Or-

Him: Did I ASK you for my account value? No. what did I ask you for?

Me: For your agents name.

Him: GOOD. Quit wasting my time with your customer service BULLSHIT and answer my GODDAMNED QUESTION!!!!

Me: Certainly, (I have to add that by this point in a call like this my tone has turned from friendly, to dripping with exaggerated sweet sacrasm. Just enough so I can’t get in trouble.) Your agent’s name is _________, and his phone number is ____________. Is there anything else I can do for you toady?

Him: You’ve done enough. (I love that one almost as much as “Well you didn’t DO anything for me so how can you do anything else for me?)

Me: Ok thank you for calling and have a nice day. (I wait for him to hang up.)

Him: Yeah whatever. (pause) HEY! Are you still there???

Me: Yes, I’m still here sir.

Him: Give me my balance.

Me: Thud Thud Thud (banging my head on my desk)